First Love

First love is innocence, naivety and often leads to heartbreak.

That was what Ps Mike preached today, and I can't help but marvel at the truth in such a statement.

Indeed, who has never closed their eyes (and minds) to reason when they were in love? (especially as they were only youths burning with idealistic passion that the world could end but everything would right itself as long as the two people in love had each other).

How wrong they are to put their hope into each other, men, who are infallible, fallen and prone to disappoint?

How wrong I was to put all my idealism, my heart and soul into the one person whom I will never ever in this life time end up with?

But yet, before anyone accuses me of becoming jaded or cynical or anything, know that I will never ever regret it.

All the messages that used to enchant me before I sleep.
All the affection poured out enough to make my knees weak like jelly.
The fact that I know that there's always this someone for me.
The calls that I look forward to all the time.

Do I miss those? Well, I used to but as I grow older, this things, once capable of making me almost hyperventilate with joy, now seems more like a teenage phenomenon.

Give me a love that starts slowly, grows steadily and proves itself with time.

"Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
1st Corinthians 13:4-7.

And that is the love I want. I may never achieve it this lifetime, but I can always hope. :)

Gosh, I sound so jiwang I don't actually sound like myself anymore. :P

As an aside, J asked me today, "Do you like boys? Please say yes."
LOL.
That was after I said I wish I was born a guy. Maybe he thought I was lesbian?
:P